this old man..

If I could find that old man who first ruined the life of this tiny mewling new born baby girl, I would, I would ....oh you dont want to know. But I like to think about what I would do to him.

Vanga  404 BC. They say I was a beautiful baby, all pink and white and brown, with perfect little fingers, dimples and a head full of curls. This made my mother fearful about me. She had been longing for so long, to have a daughter. She chittered and whimpered and as per tradition those days in India, the soothsayers were called in to tell my parents of my future.

they were given my birth chart, and a bit of my dried umbilicus, and the cloth I was born on, and stuff like that, the dirty old perverts wanted this sort of thing to make it all look authentic. Soothsayers should be tortured on special racks if I was ever in a position of authority. Which is not likely unless Fransesca becomes a CEO of the company where she works and in any case I am heartily tired of this existence and I need a break and I want to die, properly as soon as I can hopefully without harming the stupid woman...

the soothsayers consulted, mumbling and munching away on betel with their obscene gap toothed jaws, farting gently and trying to look dignified as old men do.

"Your highness, we bring some bad news (and then noticing how thunderously black my fathers face became-)and good news of course...
but some of it is undoubtedly bad-
well, not bad but disturbing , in a word, you may not approve.."
my mother would have started that trembling fit she had when she was agitated. A typcial traditional palace maiden, she was, one of those royal air heads, bred for adornment but not much use in any real life and death situation.you know the type. ...
"this daughter of yours is born under a male sign of the zodiac, she has not the temperament of a usual royal daughter she is too willful.." began the most respected Brahmin, cautiously with some self important hoicking of phlegm in his audibly corrugated windpipe..

I suppose in ancient India that was admittedly very  bad news , who needed willful daughters, they were supposed to be feminine and be useful in forging practical political alliances with fat moguls across the river, and then for breeding more royal offspring. Who needed a female with a mind of her own?

My father would have remained thoughtfully silent.
My mother would have been trembling and biting her royal nails waiting for the old fart to go on. (Have you noticed how there are so many dirty all encompassing words for old women -  hag, witch, shrew, harridan- but none for men. Old men are considered intelligent, greatly respected and noble).

" your daughter is beautiful intelligent, very wilful and will get what she wants, but unfortunately, great King, hic, she will bring you some embarrassment - she is uhh ehem you know- destined to be - a woman of very high sexual desire, so much that she would even mate with animals if given the chance... very sorry...this is what we have seen...we didnt even want to tell you this- but we thought you can take some precautions, lock her up in a tall tower and throw away the key, that sort of thing- now dont look at us like that.."

My father would probably have got that vein in his neck throbbing visibly.
I know because I have one too , just like that

This is what I would like to do to that drunk old astrologer who ruined my life..

Cruel Ambitions down the drain..

On arriving at Francesca’s place I looked around;
 I knew from the internal source (Francesca’s memory of course) that they were an anti social slightly abnormal family who tried to mind their own business and not step out into the traumatic streets of Colombo if they could help it. But they generally carried out their usual daily Buddhist rituals with all seriousness and were complacent in the feeling that theirs was a happy well-adjusted safe and above all lucky household.

Sadly, I have to report they were not alone there.

3 prits , a bhoot and a restless pisauch were making themselves at home there too, as well as the astral remains of Francesca’s dotty grandmother, who really had no evil designs but labored under a nagging sense of something forgotten. Francesca knew about the latter because of a series of uncomfortable cold, rather grayish, dreams which smelt vaguely of lavender, plus a local Jesus-Saves pastor had mentioned this to her during one of her investigative foreys into the case of the Healer of Milagiriya.


A pisacha is a vampiric spirit often associated with the vetala and the. rakshasa but of a lower order than both of these. They are said to be hideous in appearance and blood thirsty. They haunt charnel grounds and cross-roads. They are blamed as the cause of many illnesses. But, if offered rice at a cross-road by one of his victims in a ceremony that is repeated for days, he might restore his health. The name pisacha is occasionally used in a way that includes all or nearly all the vampiric demons and spirits of India(21) . http://www.deardeath.com/vetala.htm 



Or according to India Divine: (22)
Pisacha ("monster"). Those who are cruelly ambitious even while others starve. They will eat anything and everything without limit, including human flesh

The one in her bathroom drain was not too evil either, merely selfish and clingy, a rather calmer,  much smaller version you may say, and had  lived  existed in her drain for more than a decade,  living lusting on period blood, body grime, tooth brush time spit and on very good days, shaved body hair and the occasional set of nail clippings...

Eastern unhappy spirits are always hungry, perhaps because people were always afraid of being poor and hungry, or because society was jealous of “cruelly ambitious” people who lived in luxury allowing other people to starve, and wished them to become this kind of life form.  The punishment for such sins is being constantly, painfully hungry and never getting any food except repulsive things like this.

 (21) Sri Lanka, like it or lump it , is India’s little cousin and they inherited among other things, all the undead entity names, though it didn’t stop them from having their own  indigenous or home grown types too. More about them later.
  (22) check here at India Divine

What women want ...in Thambrapanne

yes, well, Himi parnum had set up his outlet next to a Hindu Kovil, those lovely smelling, cool, places of worship with the deep bells ringing and the gorgeous multicolored HIndu God Statues. Lots of local women came here to "make barey"s . A barey is a sort of bargain, although the technical translation reads vow.. they promise something to the relevant Hindu god and ask for something they really want, like recovery from an illness, having a son, a good job for the hubby or for a kid to pass an exam , what have you. When these are fulfilled they come back and carry out their part of the bargain. There is a lot of joss sticks, holy ash and coconut bashing(21) involved and everyone feels good.
Now where does a buddhist monk fit in this ?
According to the rules, Buddhist monks are not supposed to engage in commerce or work as such and even touch money. that is because they are supposed to be meditating, getting rid of mental defilement and working themselves upwards in the spiritual path. Unfortunately due to lots of Sri Lankan families who think that dumping their little sons into monestaries at a tender age when they know nothing of what it means, is a great merit which will lead them to good places, the young monks have not really understood or accepted this whole arrangement and they probably resent all the clauses. So you have many who drink, fornicate, ply various trades, drive cars and own any amount of fancy possessions that they can get their hands on, and they justify it to themselves which ias all that matters. The preferred and now generally socially accepted vocations for monks who want income are tuition, soothsaying and herbal medicine all of which can be picked up by a fairly dedicated conman, with a bit of practice and the respect that the robe gives them. The image is fairly authentic the rest is psychiatry.
Himi parnum therefore had set up his little booth next to the kovil to cater for the people, mostly women who wanted an extra boost on the way to achieving their fondest dreams. It was after all mostly women who had the time to make the required regular visits and bring him the various weird ingredients he made them locate. What they generally obsessed with was usually related to love sex and marriage although they didnt consciously recognize this, along with a generous dollop of hatred for various rivals who seemed to be getting there faster or in better style. Plus lots of women simply wanted some other man they couldn't get. Unreasonable but common. And there were the tiresome bunch who were fighting about land, since land in Colombo was a precious commodity and the legal system was tiresomely obscure and impotent in the retrieval of same; or as the case may be the justified acquisition of again, someone elses property.
Himi parnum made no judgments but cheerfully acceded to all requests since he was paid for this and he approved of money.
Plus women really believed the things he told them.
For example that to make love potions to attract their lovers he needed  body fluids which he had to veritably stoke from them....in a dimly lit annexure to his main office where there were nice "tables" on which they had to lie, and uhm, meditate or something. (and of course you mixed that with the frogs eyes, oil of a three toed newt and petels from the rare eastern glimmerwort and a powder made of  ground pieces of an old tooth from a cat who died in the tsunami, dont you know which was actually rarer than you think, although he happened to have a spare in his provision cupboard you know the drill...)
that if they did what he told them, and how, their men would remain with them...9well he basically told them to be very nice to the man for the next three months. thats not really rocket science. what man can actually up and leave a woman who is doing everything she can to be nice to him? seriously??)
and as for the baby making magic, well, theres not much to be left to the imagination there, is there.Himi-parnum got the job done, as good as any test tube scientist, and thats all there is to it...


(21) the significance of cracking coconuts to appease Gods is lost to me but there is a long story behind that too. Im sure.

Ah Sri Lankan Women

kind of touching ...ah  sri lankan women..not to mention the state of our journalism...

http://www.hri.ca/itp2003/dignity/2002rep3.htm


"Pathetic and painful story of a young female graduate illustrating the position of the women in the Society. '
The parents of a 28 years old graduate girl replied to a marriage proposal which appeared in a Sunday paper (Silumina). The prospective groom was an Army officer with assets over rupees two million and a fixed deposit of Rs. 300,000/=. (thats not really enough but anyway-moving on...)

The marriage was arranged and the groom used to visit the girl at her resident. One day the Army officer took her away from her house pretending that he is taking her to register for a job. The man took her to Anuradhapura and raped her in a lodge in Anuradhapura( as opposed to on the street -) After the incident he reduced his visit to her home and attempted to neglect her. (ouch! now thats bad! not to mention typical, but its kind of natural really. think of how many rapists would continue to pay attention, actually )

She complained the rape incident to Police and the Police officer summoned him to the Police station and inquired into the complaint( when,where, how , how many positions, more details please.) The Army officer admitted his fault at the Police station and agreed to marry her on the same day.

Accordingly they were married in May 2002 and the bride was taken to his sister's place in Polonnaruwa. After few days they came back to her place. The Army officer had abnormal sexual behaviour.( definition please?)

She developed a painful rash on her skin after few days of her marriage. She suspected the abnormal behaviour of her husband and inquired his character from the Girithale Army camp.(get this - he raped her and then she married him and now shes finally come around to inquiring his character ..) At that time the following matters were revealed

1.      He has not informed his marriage to the Army.

2.      He is suffering from a severe venereal disease (Herpes)

3.      He is suspected for two murders of two young graduate girls.

4.      He is accused of 7 rape charges.

5.      He is severely addicted to Ganja.

He had given marriage proposals to 7 girls and all of them were raped and transmitted "herpes" to them.(actually the mind boggles here at what his secret is ) Two of them (Graduates) died under mysterious circumstances  (how about "acute embarrassment"?- I would)

Now this client( wife ) is a mother of 20 days old infant and the father has neglected both of them. He is angry with her for giving information to the Army (what -the barmy army doesn't know that one of their guys  is 7 times accused of rape and walking around positively bubbling with herpes???not very perceptive are they ?) and is making death threats to her. As per medical advice she is not lactating the child and undergoing treatment at Colombo National Hospital.( ok, I admit I dont blame her actually - I personally would'nt lactate either in the circumstances...)

Road to Nirvana

ok this is a true story, and the best is how Sulakshi told it to me, shes totally cute like a little imp and for a traditional eastern mom shes quite a little spit fire if there ever was. so shes been curious about the local holy man, one of those chubby charming robed dudes, who runs his own hoodoo shop aka mantra spot in Mutwal, a seedy part of Colombo where the houses grow close to each other and the natives are particularly gullible. To the uninitiated who dont know about Sri Lankan life, well its like this. Our whole heritage and 3000 history is RICHLY concentrated  in  more things like magic, sorcery, exorcisms, life after death and that sort of supernatural mosh than most land masses about ten times the size.
Ven Himi Paanam ( I shall call him so since i wont be using names not unless i want the whole of the noble batch breathing down my stubborn back) runs a little Shop of SPells that would put Harry Potter and the entire Hogwarths to shame. Himi- paarnum sells ANYTHING from love potions, (for mostly women who want men)to  hate potions (for women who want the men they want  to hate the women they currently want ) death curses (against the Vinaya, that book of the Buddhist rules, but then the times have changed and he justifies them somehow ) to life blessings (thats to make babies for women who cant) and everything in between.
How he makes those portions is quite intriguing (the baby making ones in particular ...)

I dont get it, this terrible urgency Sri Lankan women have to get men,(true that lots died in the ethnic conflict - but still ) to get someone elses man and to get babies, by using potions . I think they should just probably use "sex" , like the American women do ...

but Ven.Himi Parnum just like the famous Sakwithy (20) has really studied this segment of the market, done his homework carefully and harvested well. You see the odd sign of success here and there to prove it.

However unlike Sakwithy, I guess his potions actually deliver. Pun really intended.
And if you stay tuned I shall tell you more about how he makes those potions...

(20) such a long story so I will let the Sunday Times tell it to you first hand.

Destiny

So I will not tell you how I arranged it but it was me who influenced things so that Fransesca was given the Mahendran interviews.
Have you heard how history repeats itself .
It does, and those are our habits in Samsara.

Mahendran  was one of the senpathi  in 2500 BC, who had tried to find a way of saving me. He was still paying for it;in a dozen subsequent births he had lost his legs, for what he did to Gamini- with his legs, he had lost his dreams, his chance at love, marriage and children, comfort and security in his old age and what is worse than this all, his wonderful ability to dance.
His bride of a hundred lives, had met him, fallen in love with him but not had the courage to accept his disability- she too had died each life, alone, knowing she loved him and no one else but unable to take the step that would change their lives,for better or for worse.

This time I wanted some way of cheating this miserable destiny. 
Someway to repay him. I had to speak to him. I had to make him believe me. at least  this life. How I would do it I didnt know.
When Franseca interviewed him he was at the prime of his life poised on the verge of every success. Would he believe anything she said and in the first place how could I make her say these things- time was very short, I could not believe that the crippling had not already happened during the war, which was now actually over.

But I had watched uselessly for centuries as it happened always before his 36th year- and this time I had a body, which I could control.
But still, the prospect was daunting- - his 36th birthday was just a few months away...

and then there were crows

and I saw them out of the corner of my eyes though I did not know what to think of them.
They seemed to be everywhere today and they were looking at me silently.
what was I supposed to do, but slam the doors and go inside?