If I could find that old man who first ruined the life of this tiny mewling new born baby girl, I would, I would ....oh you dont want to know. But I like to think about what I would do to him.
Vanga 404 BC. They say I was a beautiful baby, all pink and white and brown, with perfect little fingers, dimples and a head full of curls. This made my mother fearful about me. She had been longing for so long, to have a daughter. She chittered and whimpered and as per tradition those days in India, the soothsayers were called in to tell my parents of my future.
they were given my birth chart, and a bit of my dried umbilicus, and the cloth I was born on, and stuff like that, the dirty old perverts wanted this sort of thing to make it all look authentic. Soothsayers should be tortured on special racks if I was ever in a position of authority. Which is not likely unless Fransesca becomes a CEO of the company where she works and in any case I am heartily tired of this existence and I need a break and I want to die, properly as soon as I can hopefully without harming the stupid woman...
the soothsayers consulted, mumbling and munching away on betel with their obscene gap toothed jaws, farting gently and trying to look dignified as old men do.
"Your highness, we bring some bad news (and then noticing how thunderously black my fathers face became-)and good news of course...
but some of it is undoubtedly bad-
well, not bad but disturbing , in a word, you may not approve.."
my mother would have started that trembling fit she had when she was agitated. A typcial traditional palace maiden, she was, one of those royal air heads, bred for adornment but not much use in any real life and death situation.you know the type. ...
"this daughter of yours is born under a male sign of the zodiac, she has not the temperament of a usual royal daughter she is too willful.." began the most respected Brahmin, cautiously with some self important hoicking of phlegm in his audibly corrugated windpipe..
I suppose in ancient India that was admittedly very bad news , who needed willful daughters, they were supposed to be feminine and be useful in forging practical political alliances with fat moguls across the river, and then for breeding more royal offspring. Who needed a female with a mind of her own?
My father would have remained thoughtfully silent.
My mother would have been trembling and biting her royal nails waiting for the old fart to go on. (Have you noticed how there are so many dirty all encompassing words for old women - hag, witch, shrew, harridan- but none for men. Old men are considered intelligent, greatly respected and noble).
" your daughter is beautiful intelligent, very wilful and will get what she wants, but unfortunately, great King, hic, she will bring you some embarrassment - she is uhh ehem you know- destined to be - a woman of very high sexual desire, so much that she would even mate with animals if given the chance... very sorry...this is what we have seen...we didnt even want to tell you this- but we thought you can take some precautions, lock her up in a tall tower and throw away the key, that sort of thing- now dont look at us like that.."
My father would probably have got that vein in his neck throbbing visibly.
I know because I have one too , just like that
Vanga 404 BC. They say I was a beautiful baby, all pink and white and brown, with perfect little fingers, dimples and a head full of curls. This made my mother fearful about me. She had been longing for so long, to have a daughter. She chittered and whimpered and as per tradition those days in India, the soothsayers were called in to tell my parents of my future.
they were given my birth chart, and a bit of my dried umbilicus, and the cloth I was born on, and stuff like that, the dirty old perverts wanted this sort of thing to make it all look authentic. Soothsayers should be tortured on special racks if I was ever in a position of authority. Which is not likely unless Fransesca becomes a CEO of the company where she works and in any case I am heartily tired of this existence and I need a break and I want to die, properly as soon as I can hopefully without harming the stupid woman...
the soothsayers consulted, mumbling and munching away on betel with their obscene gap toothed jaws, farting gently and trying to look dignified as old men do.
"Your highness, we bring some bad news (and then noticing how thunderously black my fathers face became-)and good news of course...
but some of it is undoubtedly bad-
well, not bad but disturbing , in a word, you may not approve.."
my mother would have started that trembling fit she had when she was agitated. A typcial traditional palace maiden, she was, one of those royal air heads, bred for adornment but not much use in any real life and death situation.you know the type. ...
"this daughter of yours is born under a male sign of the zodiac, she has not the temperament of a usual royal daughter she is too willful.." began the most respected Brahmin, cautiously with some self important hoicking of phlegm in his audibly corrugated windpipe..
I suppose in ancient India that was admittedly very bad news , who needed willful daughters, they were supposed to be feminine and be useful in forging practical political alliances with fat moguls across the river, and then for breeding more royal offspring. Who needed a female with a mind of her own?
My father would have remained thoughtfully silent.
My mother would have been trembling and biting her royal nails waiting for the old fart to go on. (Have you noticed how there are so many dirty all encompassing words for old women - hag, witch, shrew, harridan- but none for men. Old men are considered intelligent, greatly respected and noble).
" your daughter is beautiful intelligent, very wilful and will get what she wants, but unfortunately, great King, hic, she will bring you some embarrassment - she is uhh ehem you know- destined to be - a woman of very high sexual desire, so much that she would even mate with animals if given the chance... very sorry...this is what we have seen...we didnt even want to tell you this- but we thought you can take some precautions, lock her up in a tall tower and throw away the key, that sort of thing- now dont look at us like that.."
My father would probably have got that vein in his neck throbbing visibly.
I know because I have one too , just like that
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| This is what I would like to do to that drunk old astrologer who ruined my life.. |
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